"Clever men hatch ambitious schemes."

"After Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones, I want to write a medieval fantasy for Sean Bean where he has a nice day and things go well."

renlybaratheawesome:

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tunte:

tom-aiac:

This is true art right here.

Humans are great

piesexualdean:

turtwink:

does medusa have pubes and if so are they snakes too

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neoputa:

i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs

Loads of my friends are having/have had babies.

All I keep thinking is ‘why did he not pull out?’

I think I’m just scared of realising I have to grow up…

"I don’t know about America, but in Australia, if you are next to a really good looking girl, you’re not getting out with boxer shorts on or briefs, or anything!"

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

thecutestofthecute:

crowley-for-king:

flatsound:

i wanna feel how dogs feel when you let them go in a big field 

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This is it.This is what true happiness looks like.

toomanypangalacticgargleblasters:

I’m laughing and screaming at the same time.